This is a personal story. My hope is that it brings you comfort and empowerment in challenging times. The health facilitation work I do is not apart from my own journey as a spirit living in a body that has it's battles, too. We are in this together, and I can only hope to assist others in attaining peace, health, and enlightenment to the extent that I have. Every day is a new opportunity to heal and share results. Healing begins as soon as we can start getting honest... and honestly, facing fears in times of utter hopelessness has been one of the greatest life teachings I have yet to experience.
I have come to a crossroads where the magnitude of overwhelm and complete surrender have come to meet, Divinely and beautifully timed. The crazed fear driven anxious and panic stricken last 6 months is over. I am a new woman, and the warrior goddess within is here to take over in the place of that helpless, victimized, hopeless, and fragile minded little girl. As I venture forward into my 30's, single and building my career as a Holistic Health Practitioner, life has become something entirely new. It became real. Real in the sense that now I have to face myself. When we're young and careless, facing ourselves is beyond comprehension. Yet, when challenges come and answers are left open-ended, how I live and breathe through each day becomes real. It doesn't get any real-er than owning my experience, taking responsibility for my own suffering. I've had 2 mental breakdowns in my life, one at 23 and one at 29. Both shook me to the core with fear for my life for over 6 months at a time, and both times I've come out on the other side stronger and more determined than ever to share the benefits of having a strong will to live. I crave to empower others, as I have come so far in learning the importance of sheer will power when it comes to health and happiness.
Yesterday I nearly lost my life/sanity while bouldering up the side of a rocky mountain in the desert. After monkeying-around and cruising up the side of this rocky slope, I came to realize I could not turn back. Literally, I got myself stuck in the middle of nowhere up a steep mountain face that seemed to have me cornered. One foot on each side of a rock covered vertical shoot, holding myself together with what little hope I had to just stay put and think about my options. Below were remnants of rocks that crumbled as I stepped, and loose dirt fell along the middle of this would-be death trap. The idea of attempting to go back down only brought images of bloodied body parts scattered at the bottom. The odds were against me it seemed. I wanted to cry, turn back and cling to the earth that was so beautifully flat. Above was frighteningly treacherous with even fewer rocks to assist me up. Yet, from where I was standing, up was the only hopeful option. In that moment an angry and determined warrior took her rightful place within my body, she was back, and the frightened little girl transformed at that moment. With this Divine strength only the Great Spirit could have provided, I took to that rock wall like a savage, knees and fingertips, toes and elbows. That's the shit (excuse my French) that determines your will, and we all have it! I made it to the top screaming and kicking the air, pissed and furious that I was just tied up in that mess. My heart was so full, and the strength I felt with all that adrenalin pumping through me was limitless. My vision was blurred for the rest of the trip, so getting down was another adventure on the opposite ridge, but I knew I was done with the hardest part... The part that proves I could do it, so nothing else could get in my way. When I got back to the bottom I did hug the earth, face down starfish style, full of relief.
The metaphor that hit me on my hike out helped me realize how necessary that journey was. In order to really face my fears and make it in life, I am the one who has to do the work. Emotionally, nutritionally, physically, and every other way that serves to build my inner strength. Last night, as I walked out to look at the stars, I had a talk with God about my fears. I yelled, I snarled, and I said thank you. I am so grateful to realize this... Surrender doesn't mean you give up. Surrender means we act with faith in the face of fear. I surrendered to the Divine spirit that breathes life into me and all beings, and I let that breath carry me up. She came as a warrior goddess when I needed Her. The breath of life... It is what ever it needs to be for us in the moment. We need only to listen and obey That truth within.
We are only given what we can handle, meaning we can handle anything when we know the truth about who we are in Spirit. When I can honestly say to the Great Spirit, "If this is what you want, fine, this is what I will do, because I love you that much," then I know I've got what it takes to face any challenge, because now I have entered into a new dimension... The realm of living for one purpose, Divine will. Life brings many challenges, in health, well-being, relationships, ect. If we are struggling to get by, to survive, or to move forward then It's time for a shift in perception. Letting go of my fear by surrendering my personal agenda to Divine will is what created space for new possibilities. My agenda was to be safe and comforted on the mountain, well that was not an option at the moment. We can't go back and fix the mess we got ourselves in, but we can always go forward with confidence that this too will benefit us. Staying in tune with the Truth and acting accordingly is what fully experiencing ourselves means. Maybe this life is all just a test of our ability to align with the Truth that is Divine will, and be present to enjoy the ride... We are Divine, and the ride is our life. So, in that case, the journey is the ultimate practice of faith, and I'm ready for anything. Are you ready, lets do this?!
LOVE PEACE JOY & LIGHT to you all. Thanks for sharing this with me.